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A choice
Something I never thought I'd say. ..

My mother is going to move in with me for a few months.

I know, I know. I just couldn't think of a way for her to keep her apartment and income, and it seems so unfair that she has to make this choice -or have it made for her- just because her insurance doesn't cover short-term rehab.

So I'm clearing out my den, and getting it set up for her. She'll still have an aide and home OT and PT, and hopefully she will get stronger. I had a talk with her yesterday that end of January is a good goal date for her to be self-sufficient, and if she is not, that we'll have to look for other places for her to go.

I'm dreading some things, like her wanting to talk when I want quiet, or that she has her TV on all the time. But I'm also glad she has a chance to get better (if she can/chooses to) and that we won't be celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas in a nursing home.

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You have a kind heart.

I find the state of insurance-as-health-care appalling and am sorry that it's come to such a head but never let it be said that you're not trying very hard to do the right and gentle thing here. Because that's exactly what you're doing!

Also, it's excellent self-care for you to have established January as a boundary for the situation. I advocate strongly for the rules and boundaries being well-established (though I definitely struggle with them myself and know it's not always so simple to say and then execute) but it sounds like you're off to a great start on that point.

As such, I wish you both nothing but the best.

Thank you!

I am feeling really positive about the situation now, but before yesterday I had in the back of my mind this little voice saying: "You swore you'd never do that! What the hell are you doing?"

But then I had therapy and he was reassuring. He agreed with you, that it was a kind decision and probably the best in this situation. He pointed out that it will be easier for her to transition to a nursing home from my place, rather than directly from independent living, if it comes to that.

I do think it's a 60-70 % chance she will need more care in the near future, but I guess she could still "rally," as one social worker put it.

Edited at 2016-10-29 04:28 pm (UTC)

That is intense. I hope she does, as they say, "rally" - she's not particularly old, and it will be hard for both of you if she loses her independence.

You're doing a kind thing.

Thank you, and I like your icon! I really need to redo all of mine.

So much has happened. About to post an update now.

Also, could you let Crew know about all this? I'm going to make the last few posts public in case anyone wants to read them.

Sure. What can we do for you?

Also, I assume you'd guess this, but election night watching at Courtlands on Tuesday.

(Deleted comment)
Got it! Want to go see the new Dr Strange tonight or tomorrow afternoon?

Yes please! Tonight would be great!

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